You read all the books. You watched all the videos. You listened to everybody’s stories and all of the warm and wonderful words of advice.
You were ready for that new baby to be born.
Then you went home… to real time living. Nothing from day one seemed to be anything like what you had read or seen or heard.
What happened? How did you go so wrong?
Real time living happened. You did nothing wrong.
Books … videos … advice . They are all great sources of help and support. None of it can be guaranteed to fit into real-time living.
The first days at home can be quite serene. The baby is quiet and mostly sleeping.
Then she wakens from the ‘after birth transition’… and nothing you do seems to quiet or soothe her.
Don’t be alarmed. One ‘rule’ with a new baby is ‘be prepared for someone to be holding baby for the first three months’.
It will take that time for both the baby and you to wrap this new life around you … to break into it …fit into it.
This is the time when you can listen to your instincts within. They are real and they will guide you as you bond with your newborn.
This is the time when nights and days run together almost as one. Baby sleeps or fusses regardless of the time of day. Mom or dad responds … mostly mom once dad is back at work.
Through these first weeks and months, your life changes significantly. It is not as you have known it. It is most likely not what you expected.
Chances are it answers to the books and videos and spoken advice not at all.
It really is real time living.
It’s a time to get help if needed. Order around you will help you keep order inside of you. Help keeping the house in order will be well worth it. Perhaps having someone keep up with the cleaning will be enough. Maybe help with the grocery shopping or laundry will be called for.
One thing that will be top priority is sleeping when you can. That means when baby sleeps … you sleep.
During this time … hubby takes a back seat as far as catering from you goes. Hopefully he will cater more to you.
During this time … listen to your body. Pay attention to what it tells you. If it tells you to rest .. rest. If it tells you to get out for a break … do that. Go for a walk. Go out for dinner if you have a good reliable babysitter. Take a long warm soaking bath with bubbles.
Do not forget to eat.
Listen to your infant. Every cry and sigh is speaking to you. As you listen .. those cries will become discernible to you. Hungry. Cold. Tired. Needs soothing. Needs a diaper change. Needs a burp.
After the first three months your baby will be smiling and cooing at you. You can put her down and she will be entertained by movements and sounds around her. She will snuggle into you as you rock with her in the rocking chair.
You will look at her and wonder where that newborn baby went. You will wonder what you ever did with all of your time before she arrived.
You will know that you did nothing wrong.
Never has anything been so right.
You will realize that nothing can compare to real time living … not books..videos or spoken advice.
