We all have them … meltdowns. They are normally much more wide openly visible in children. Adults believe they cover them well by clench teethed silence or a complete disappearance or a stomping of feet or whatever method may be fruitful to reestablishing self control.
How do we deal with that loss of control in a small child?
It is first necessary to understand what a meltdown stems from.
They were called temper tantrums at one time. They involve both temper and the nature of a person.
Adults recognize their temper and nature and can control both.
A child recognizes neither so means of reclaiming control is vastly different.
A child under two can lose self control in a moment. A young temper can surface unexpectedly …triggered by the child’s nature.. He/she can emote through hitting and screaming or throwing things or any manner of disruption. A child’s nature determines the degree of disruption.
What to do?
Quietly remove the child from the situation. This will most likely result in wild kicking and flailing and screaming on the child’s part.
The child should then be held snugly and firmly and lovingly on your lap in a quiet area. As he/she screams and struggles to ‘escape’… the firm hold should be maintained.
Words aren’t needed. They wouldn’t be heard.
Some children will work their emotions out quickly. Others may be very prolonged. It requires patience on the part of the adult to allow the child to take whatever time is needed to work it all out … firmly and snugly holding the child to the end of rhe meltdown.
It will end.
When done … the quiet silent sobbing that will follow is a requiem to peace and the child will be ready to continue his/her day without having any memory of what the “meltdown” was even about.
A very important step on the road of learning about self control … via a ‘meltdown’ …has been taken.
A child’s grasp of self control will grow with him if he has adults around him who have the patience to work with him.
Soon he will be able to work through a meltdown on his own after being guided to a guiet spot where he knows he is safe.
He is well on his way to one day becoming the reasonably functioning young adult he is expected to become by all those who care for him. ..meltdown free.
