challenging consistency

Parenting requires patience, adaptability, and a steady hand to guide children … to fill the ’empty slate’ they were born with. One of the cornerstones of effective parenting is consistency … setting clear expectations, enforcing rules, and maintaining predictable responses to behaviors.

A child’s ‘job’ is to challenge this consistency in every way possible.

The adult’s job is to uphold the consistency at all costs … no small feat.

From tantrums to teenage rebellion, kids have a unique ability to push parents to give up all consistency. From a toddler’s repeated “no” to a teenager’s subtle negotiations, kids test limits to understand where boundaries lie.

Consistency is challenged again and again and again.

Kids are champs at reading their parents’ emotional cues and using them to their advantage. A tearful plea or a charming smile can sway a parent to bend rules, especially when they’re tired or stressed. Can you stick to your guns as the adult while being tested?

Children’s moods and behaviors can shift rapidly. A rule that works one day might trigger a meltdown the next. You must remember you are the adult to maintain the consistency no matter how it may be challenged.

Consistency is often challenged to the point of disobedience on the child’s part. The child will always return ‘home’ to the consistency of security and trust he is raised within. Perhaps it is a toddler having a meltdown at being refused his favorite candy before lunch. Maybe it is a teen who just told you “you know nothing” before stomping out of the house in a huff.

Both will return “home” when the emotions have burned down.

It is the consistency that allows him to grow… to push beyond the boundaries .. to test what is there… knowing the consistency of home is true and real. There is trust and security there that he knows he can rely on.

The consistency at home gives him the confidence to be who he is with his friends …with his teachers … with strangers. It becomes his cornerstone to all he does.

It gives him the confidence to be himself.

The importance of maintaining consistency can’t be overstated. This will be reflected in a reasonably functioning young adult stepping out to start his own life’s journey.

All heads will be held high … the challenges to the consistency over.