“I can’t. I just cannot.” Has that ever been you? It is a statement void of all self confidence.

Raising children can make us believe we just are not good enough … that we ‘cannot’. The demands on parents encompass everything from being a doctor … a nurse … a psychologist … a fine line negotiator … an arbitrator … a fashion guru … an accountant … a lawyer … a judge.

You name it … parents have the role. That isn’t even mentioning the every day roles of cooking and cleaning and laundry and grocery shopping.

I can’t? I just cannot? Yes. You can.

Parents have a natural instinct within that guides them with their children. They also have the natural emotions that come with being human.

Look at the emotions as a wicked chopping machine and the instincts as a calm even flow of reason. When the emotions rise above the instincts … trouble becomes very alive.

This is when it is up to you to recognize what is happening and grab hold quickly.

We cannot ignore our emotions. They are real. Loving our children does not put our emotions at bay. We can step back from them … and must to cope with life.

We cannot allow our emotions to bury our instincts.

Everyone has a human nature to deal with. … to add to the mix. Work beyond that too .. whether it be stubborn as a mule or soft as a cloud. Both extremes and all in between call for a firm backbone and a solid footing. That will pull you forward out of the emotional whirling.

How many times have you heard “take a deep breath and count to ten”? You will find ur way of safely ‘counting to ten’ once you realize what is causing the turmoil within you. Every time you do will be a huge boost to your self confidence.

Children have a natural way wearing down that self confidence. They test the emotions and the instincts of their parents without a blink. It begins from birth.

That testing can be brutal and exhausting. There are ways for you to arm yourself from the emotions that would want to destroy you.

Rest … which may seem impossible. Nutrition … which comes for mom on a fly-by- night schedule. Relaxation … dependant on a good babysitter. Self pampering which means lots of great lotion .. candles … hot baths or sauna … and whatever soothes you.

You will find a way. When you do … self confidence will not allow you to say “I can’t. I just cannot.”

Of course you can.

The post self confidence … you do have it first appeared on Wonder Care Plus.

Chances are you were raised on a strong foundation of morals. Chances are you want to pass those same moral teachings on to your children.

Many think it is too hard to do that today. All around us it seems that morals have been overridden by their nemesis.

What happened to right and wrong? What happened to the Golden Rule?

Do they exist at all. … anywhere … anymore?

Of course they do .. but it is always the squeaky wheel that gets the grease. That is what we see and hear through the media. If it’s all we hear or see we would believe morals exist nowhere. We would start believing right vs wrong has no meaning today.

It doesn’t have to be a scary thought … raising our kids with morals. They just need to be prepared for the fight against them they meet.

That will be the challenge… preparing them.

It will go hand in hand with challenging consistency for you .. the parent… by your kids. This time it will be teaching the kids consistency and how to hold onto it when challenged by their peers.

Kids learn morals by example and words and actions of their parents. The stronger that belief of morals is in the parents … the more the children believe them.

They naturally follow what they believe.

Oh … you will be tested. Your child will stretch as far as he can from the parental ‘path’ … out to the right … then off to the left. The moral beliefs from you will bring him back to center.

A foundation of morals is a building block that can’t be moved. It is built for your child by you confidently living by your moral beliefs.

Have confidence in the foundation you are building. It is a strong foundation of morals.

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The post books … videos … advice vs real time living first appeared on Wonder Care Plus.

Parenting requires patience, adaptability, and a steady hand to guide children … to fill the ’empty slate’ they were born with. One of the cornerstones of effective parenting is consistency … setting clear expectations, enforcing rules, and maintaining predictable responses to behaviors.

A child’s ‘job’ is to challenge this consistency in every way possible.

The adult’s job is to uphold the consistency at all costs … no small feat.

From tantrums to teenage rebellion, kids have a unique ability to push parents to give up all consistency. From a toddler’s repeated “no” to a teenager’s subtle negotiations, kids test limits to understand where boundaries lie.

Consistency is challenged again and again and again.

Kids are champs at reading their parents’ emotional cues and using them to their advantage. A tearful plea or a charming smile can sway a parent to bend rules, especially when they’re tired or stressed. Can you stick to your guns as the adult while being tested?

Children’s moods and behaviors can shift rapidly. A rule that works one day might trigger a meltdown the next. You must remember you are the adult to maintain the consistency no matter how it may be challenged.

Consistency is often challenged to the point of disobedience on the child’s part. The child will always return ‘home’ to the consistency of security and trust he is raised within. Perhaps it is a toddler having a meltdown at being refused his favorite candy before lunch. Maybe it is a teen who just told you “you know nothing” before stomping out of the house in a huff.

Both will return “home” when the emotions have burned down.

It is the consistency that allows him to grow… to push beyond the boundaries .. to test what is there… knowing the consistency of home is true and real. There is trust and security there that he knows he can rely on.

The consistency at home gives him the confidence to be who he is with his friends …with his teachers … with strangers. It becomes his cornerstone to all he does.

It gives him the confidence to be himself.

The importance of maintaining consistency can’t be overstated. This will be reflected in a reasonably functioning young adult stepping out to start his own life’s journey.

All heads will be held high … the challenges to the consistency over.

The post challenging consistency first appeared on Wonder Care Plus.

We all have them … meltdowns. They are normally much more wide openly visible in children. Adults believe they cover them well by clench teethed silence or a complete disappearance or a stomping of feet or whatever method may be fruitful to reestablishing self control.

How do we deal with that loss of control in a small child?

It is first necessary to understand what a meltdown stems from.

They were called temper tantrums at one time. They involve both temper and the nature of a person.

Adults recognize their temper and nature and can control both.

A child recognizes neither so means of reclaiming control is vastly different.

A child under two can lose self control in a moment. A young temper can surface unexpectedly …triggered by the child’s nature.. He/she can emote through hitting and screaming or throwing things or any manner of disruption. A child’s nature determines the degree of disruption.

What to do?

Quietly remove the child from the situation. This will most likely result in wild kicking and flailing and screaming on the child’s part.

The child should then be held snugly and firmly and lovingly on your lap in a quiet area. As he/she screams and struggles to ‘escape’… the firm hold should be maintained.

Words aren’t needed. They wouldn’t be heard.

Some children will work their emotions out quickly. Others may be very prolonged. It requires patience on the part of the adult to allow the child to take whatever time is needed to work it all out … firmly and snugly holding the child to the end of rhe meltdown.

It will end.

When done … the quiet silent sobbing that will follow is a requiem to peace and the child will be ready to continue his/her day without having any memory of what the “meltdown” was even about.

A very important step on the road of learning about self control … via a ‘meltdown’ …has been taken.

A child’s grasp of self control will grow with him if he has adults around him who have the patience to work with him.

Soon he will be able to work through a meltdown on his own after being guided to a guiet spot where he knows he is safe.

He is well on his way to one day becoming the reasonably functioning young adult he is expected to become by all those who care for him. ..meltdown free.

The post meltdown first appeared on Wonder Care Plus.

The day ends.It has been a busy one! I don’t think I even finished the smoothie I made when I first got up. What did I accomplish? Not a thing that I can delineate.

Sometime life gets in the way.

On those days all good intentions are lost. The interruptions start in the first morning hour and continue relentlessly. They may be physical interruptions or emotional or mental. They all do their job. I try to do mine.

I bring not one good intention to fulfillment.

That is what has happened on this site… and I apologize. I cannot pretend. Sometime life gets in the way and much is put on hold.

That applies to life with your children too.

Don’t fret. It was only today.

Tomorrow is another day and it will be more organized. Your mind will be rested. The hours will meld smoothly together and all will be good.

We all need days like today just to remind us of how much we really do accomplish.

Now I will get on with working site and do as I vowed I would… offer support and help to those who may need it.

Remember…even when life does get in the way … each day has a smile hiding under the madness somewhere.

You can find it.

The post sometime life gets in the way first appeared on Wonder Care Plus.

Bringing a new baby home can feel like a whirlwind of chaos and change. Here’s a concise guide to managing it, based on common parenting challenges and practical strategies. This will help you as you find the routine that works best for you.

1. Managing the chaos

• Establish routines (flexibly). Newborns thrive on predictability, but rigid schedules are tough. Aim for a loose pattern—feed, play, sleep—and adjust as needed. For example, feed every 2-3 hours, but watch for hunger cues (rooting, hand-sucking).
• Tame the clutter. Baby gear piles up fast. Designate spots for essentials (diapers, wipes, clothes) in key areas like the nursery or living room. Use baskets or organizers to keep things accessible but tidy. Environmental order helps balance internal order which leads to calm.
• Accept imperfection. Dishes might stack up, and laundry may wait. Prioritize tasks. Focus on baby care and your well-being over a spotless house.
• Enlist help. Ask family, friends, or a partner to handle chores, cook meals, or watch the baby briefly. If possible, hire a cleaner or use delivery services to lighten the load.

2. Coping with change

• Adjust expectations. Life with a newborn isn’t like before. Sleep, social time, and personal hobbies may take a backseat temporarily. Embrace small wins, like a quick shower or a 20 minute nap.
• Team up with your partner. Divide tasks based on strengths. Perhaps one handles night feeds, the other does mornings. Communicate openly about stress or needs to avoid resentment.
• Self-care basics. Sleep when the baby sleeps, even if it’s short naps. Eat simple, nutritious meals (think pre-made snacks or freezer meals). Even 5 minutes of deep breathing or stretching can reset your mood. A walk always helps.

3. Soothing a newborn in the chaos

• Master calming techniques. Use the “5 S’s” (swaddle, shush, swing, side/stomach position while awake, suck). A tight swaddle and white noise can work wonders for fussiness.
• Create a calm zone. Set up a quiet corner with dim lights and minimal distractions for feeding or soothing. This helps both you and the baby stay grounded.
• Watch for overstimulation: Too much noise or activity can overwhelm a newborn. If the house feels chaotic, step away to a quieter space to settle them.

4. Emotional resilience

• Acknowledge being overwhelmed: Feeling frazzled is normal. Journaling or venting to a trusted person can help. If sadness or anxiety persists beyond two weeks, talk to a doctor about postpartum mood concerns.
• Celebrate small moments. A smile, a successful feed, or a quiet moment can recharge you. These build confidence amid the upheaval.
• Limit advice overload:.Everyone has opinions. Trust your instincts and your pediatrician for guidance tailored to your baby.

5. Practical tips for your home

• Simplify meals. Stock up on easy options like frozen foods or one-pot meals.
• Sleep hacks. Co-sleep safely (if you choose, following pediatric guidelines) or keep a bassinet near your bed to make night feeds easier.
• Time management. Use a timer for quick tasks (e.g., 10 minutes of tidying) to feel productive without burning out.

A parenting coach can help you get through the newness and natural chaos that may naturally come with this big change. Maintaining a well balanced mental, physical and emotional system is a top priority as you acclimate to life with your new baby. Acclimate you will.

The post managing chaos … change … and new Baby first appeared on Wonder Care Plus.

There are three words that changes your life forever. You are pregnant!

Those words can emote emotions from all sides and each one has to be dealt with for what they are. Stunned. Exhilarated! Numbed. Frozen. Unbelieving. Joyful! Devastated. Breathless!

Every human emotion in the book could be exhibited. Finding out you are pregnant is a life changing moment beyond all others.

Once the emotions secede … life takes on a new form and for most it is one of calm and excitement .. a fulfillment of life. For others being pregnant is a complete surprise and shock that now will take time to absorb or an event long awaited. Whichever it is for you depends on a whole realm of life that came before. Now life goes on to follow the path each day leads them onto.

A new life is the end result … a life totally dependent on your decisions.

Yes. This is when life changes forever bringing with it the biggest yet most natural and rewarding challenge of a lifetime … raising and parenting a child.

Being pregnant does change your life forever and nothing in life offers greater rewards.

Nothing.

I know. I have lived it.

Soak it in and enjoy every day …. even the ones marked by nausea and exhaustion and emotional swinging from the highest peak to the lowest of valleys.

It goes by quickly.

Life changes forever … in the greatest of ways.

The post when life changes forever first appeared on Wonder Care Plus.

Life is an ongoing thing for us all and parenting young children can be a whirlwind that sweeps us along like a cyclone at times. When those times hit … our legs don’t seem sturdy like rods but more like flimsy stems of wilting flowers. All energy and will is threatened to be undone…. again.

It’s in those times it is good to have some solid instinct to fall on to guide us along. If we don’t have that …we may end up down at the level of those beloved kids of ours….overcome by tears or anger or frustration or any or all unwanted emotions.

We are here to offer a hand.

After raising five boys and three girls … I kind of know where of I come from…. the same place you are at now.

Parenting is a top of the line challenge.

Don’t despair! There is light and joy in these days! All we need is someone to tell us that and tell us that and tell us that.

If we can take a deep breath and three steps back from all those emotions…. we will have the joy. Our kids are just kids doing exactly what kids are supposed to be doing. We must always always always…. be the adult.

You can do it. I know you can.

Everyone needs help. There is no shame in that. We are here to do just that.

It may be a voice from someone not emotionally connected that is needed to get over a hump. We are so tightly tied to our children emotionally that often those emotions keep us from doing what we know is best for the child. A neutral link can get you back on track.

Sometimes that neutral link is an absolute necessity… and there is no shame there either.

We would like to be that link for you. We will do that by sharing universal dilemmas old as time.

Please come back.

We are just getting started.

The post navigating parenting challenges with confidence first appeared on Wonder Care Plus.